Introduction
In the summary of this book, you will read how to handle life's troubles, negative people and bad situations. And they have to learn to speak – I don't give a f*ck.
Friends, nowadays we have come to such an era, where everyone is teaching us – how to be happy? Millions of books will be found on this topic. Lots of blog posts have been written.
Tired of this concept, Mark Manson has written this book. This book has taught how to be natural.
Why is it important to find happiness all the time? Is time always good? The author says that if there are bad situations, then say - I don't give a f*ck.That is the philosophy of this book. Let us now read the summary of this book.
1) Don't Try
2) Happiness is a problem
3) You are not special
4) The value of suffering
5) You are always choosing
6) You are wrong about everything (But so am I)
7) Failure is the way forward
8) The importance of saying no
9) And then you die
Come read the summary of all the lessons one by one.
1) Don't Try
Friends, you must have found the heading of this LESSON somewhat strange. Because till today we all have heard others say the same thing – keep trying. Do this, do that.
But here's to being told not to try. So it is important to understand why the author said this.
What the author really wants to say is don't try to fix everything.
Be it the circumstances or the difficulties created by the society.
Let us read an example first. By which this chapter will be understood better.
The example is of Charles Bukowski. He wanted to become a writer. But no one published his works.
Due to this he went under stress and became an alcoholic. But after 30 years her book was published. And after that his carrier went on. He became a successful writer.
When he died, he got it written on his grave - don't try.
In fact, he spent a considerable part of his life in poor condition. But he accepted those conditions. And not sad. Even then he was happy.
This is the message of this LESSON.
Nowadays, when there is a slight problem, people rush to fix it. For example, if children come under exam tension, then parents take them to the psychologist. They don't understand that a little tension is good.
That's how we start fixing every bad thing. Due to which our precious time gets wasted. Neither our courage nor stamina increases.
When a storm comes, do the trees try to heal it? No. They just bear it. This increases their strength and tolerance.
Friends, many things are not under human control. Whatever has to happen will happen. If bad times are going on, then think that this bad time will go away on its own. Why should I try to fix it?
Speak through bad times - I don't give a f*ck.
Meaning - I don't care. And thinking like this your worry will disappear.
2) Happiness is a problem
Everyone wants to be happy always. I don't want to suffer in the slightest.
Such a mindset is the cause of unhappiness. Many people want their work to make money quickly, But they don't want to work too hard.
Many such people think that they have 6 pack abs but in no time they leave the gym and sit.
They do not want to take the pain of hard work.
Everyone wants money and happiness. But if you want the happiness of water, then you have to work hard first. The farmer first sheds a lot of blood and sweat. Then when he sees a flourishing crop, he gets true happiness.
It has also been explained in this chapter that nowadays man tries to find happiness in wrong things. Like everyone thinks that if they have a big car, they will get a lot of happiness or a huge bungalow and bank balance are reasons for happiness. but it's not like that.
Many parameters have to be seen for happiness. In which there is also social-interaction. If your relation with family is not good then big car or bungalow will not be able to give you true happiness.
The farmers in the village are also happy by doing farming. And sleep deeply at night. Whereas rich people living in cities suffer from blood pressure, sugar, depression and insomnia.
So don't wish for this kind of happiness. Rather the author says that live in a balanced way throughout the day. Happiness will come by itself.
Many young people get so immersed in setting up a business that they forget to live. They do business to get happiness. But the way they do it, in reality, they become the cause of their sorrows.
3) You are not special
Friends, every man thinks that he is a VIP (Very Important Person) or a celebrity. He should get a lot of strength. Everyone appreciates him. Praise him.
But what happens when it doesn't. Many people feel bad. How do you feel when you have done a great job and no one gives you credit?
Maybe you are angry inside. And your mood gets spoilt. But the loss is yours. Not the front.
The author wants to explain that even if no one respects you or does not give credit, how to keep your mood good.
For this, you should never think that you are very special. Rather think that you are a common man. Who can also make mistakes. which are not perfect.
By thinking like this, even if someone does not respect you, you will not feel bad. Because you have not developed the ego to be special.
You must have seen even in weddings – sometimes uncles and sometimes uncles spit on the slightest thing. Because they consider themselves to be VIP or special person.
But what happens with this? The time that they can spend with fun by dancing and singing, they waste in increasing their blood pressure.
But whose harm is it? his own. And nobody cares.
So friends, here is the message in this lesson - don't consider yourself a VIP or a celebrity. Humble and talk to the most loving person. Apart from this, when you do not have the ego to be special, then you are not afraid to fail.
Whatever has become really special in this world like Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Job, they were all common people in the beginning. People did not understand him anything. But he did not pay any attention to all this and kept on doing his work.
Later on these people became so famous.
4) The Value of Suffering
Everyone likes sunny days, but what would you do if it ever changed?
Will you keep cursing the weather all day? Or will be busy doing some new work.
Every day in life is not a good day. Sometimes a difficult situation also comes. But don't let such a situation dominate you.
Suppose your body is not being made by going to the gym. So don't stop. Rather keep doing it. There will be trouble in the beginning but after a year or two you will be proud of yourself.
If you want to give any competitive exam then you have to work hard day and night. A man suffers in anything because of four reasons:
Real happiness does not come from materialistic success or car – bungalow etc. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to get them. Sure do it. But add value to these things. Which means helping others too. Stay Humble. Charity. Earn honesty. And so on.
Due to this he went under stress and became an alcoholic. But after 30 years her book was published. And after that his carrier went on. He became a successful writer.
When he died, he got it written on his grave - don't try.
In fact, he spent a considerable part of his life in poor condition. But he accepted those conditions. And not sad. Even then he was happy.
This is the message of this LESSON.
Nowadays, when there is a slight problem, people rush to fix it. For example, if children come under exam tension, then parents take them to the psychologist. They don't understand that a little tension is good.
That's how we start fixing every bad thing. Due to which our precious time gets wasted. Neither our courage nor stamina increases.
When a storm comes, do the trees try to heal it? No. They just bear it. This increases their strength and tolerance.
Friends, many things are not under human control. Whatever has to happen will happen. If bad times are going on, then think that this bad time will go away on its own. Why should I try to fix it?
Speak through bad times - I don't give a f*ck.
Meaning - I don't care. And thinking like this your worry will disappear.
2) Happiness is a problem
Everyone wants to be happy always. I don't want to suffer in the slightest.
Such a mindset is the cause of unhappiness. Many people want their work to make money quickly, But they don't want to work too hard.
Many such people think that they have 6 pack abs but in no time they leave the gym and sit.
They do not want to take the pain of hard work.
Everyone wants money and happiness. But if you want the happiness of water, then you have to work hard first. The farmer first sheds a lot of blood and sweat. Then when he sees a flourishing crop, he gets true happiness.
It has also been explained in this chapter that nowadays man tries to find happiness in wrong things. Like everyone thinks that if they have a big car, they will get a lot of happiness or a huge bungalow and bank balance are reasons for happiness. but it's not like that.
Many parameters have to be seen for happiness. In which there is also social-interaction. If your relation with family is not good then big car or bungalow will not be able to give you true happiness.
The farmers in the village are also happy by doing farming. And sleep deeply at night. Whereas rich people living in cities suffer from blood pressure, sugar, depression and insomnia.
So don't wish for this kind of happiness. Rather the author says that live in a balanced way throughout the day. Happiness will come by itself.
Many young people get so immersed in setting up a business that they forget to live. They do business to get happiness. But the way they do it, in reality, they become the cause of their sorrows.
3) You are not special
Friends, every man thinks that he is a VIP (Very Important Person) or a celebrity. He should get a lot of strength. Everyone appreciates him. Praise him.
But what happens when it doesn't. Many people feel bad. How do you feel when you have done a great job and no one gives you credit?
Maybe you are angry inside. And your mood gets spoilt. But the loss is yours. Not the front.
The author wants to explain that even if no one respects you or does not give credit, how to keep your mood good.
For this, you should never think that you are very special. Rather think that you are a common man. Who can also make mistakes. which are not perfect.
By thinking like this, even if someone does not respect you, you will not feel bad. Because you have not developed the ego to be special.
You must have seen even in weddings – sometimes uncles and sometimes uncles spit on the slightest thing. Because they consider themselves to be VIP or special person.
But what happens with this? The time that they can spend with fun by dancing and singing, they waste in increasing their blood pressure.
But whose harm is it? his own. And nobody cares.
So friends, here is the message in this lesson - don't consider yourself a VIP or a celebrity. Humble and talk to the most loving person. Apart from this, when you do not have the ego to be special, then you are not afraid to fail.
Whatever has become really special in this world like Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Job, they were all common people in the beginning. People did not understand him anything. But he did not pay any attention to all this and kept on doing his work.
Later on these people became so famous.
4) The Value of Suffering
Everyone likes sunny days, but what would you do if it ever changed?
Will you keep cursing the weather all day? Or will be busy doing some new work.
Every day in life is not a good day. Sometimes a difficult situation also comes. But don't let such a situation dominate you.
Suppose your body is not being made by going to the gym. So don't stop. Rather keep doing it. There will be trouble in the beginning but after a year or two you will be proud of yourself.
If you want to give any competitive exam then you have to work hard day and night. A man suffers in anything because of four reasons:
Real happiness does not come from materialistic success or car – bungalow etc. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to get them. Sure do it. But add value to these things. Which means helping others too. Stay Humble. Charity. Earn honesty. And so on.
Don't always consider yourself right. Every man can be wrong. Listen to the views of others too. Apologize for your mistake and rectify the mistake.
Keep Positive Thinking – There is no need to control everything. But remember that time never stays the same. After winter comes summer. Day after night.
Don't expect happiness all the time. Be content even if you lack something. Just go on doing your work. Don't sit cursing your fate.
5) You are always choosing
Friends, in life, we choose something of our choice every day. Be it our food, clothes, or our goals. As long as we can choose the things we like, we are happy.
The author says that we should try to reach such a situation, where we can choose the thing of our choice. And from that it is good not only for yourself but also for others.
Many times parents impose their goals on their children. Such children may be able to achieve that goal. But they will be sad for the rest of their lives.
Because this voice will keep coming from inside them that I could not do the work of my choice. You can choose good work even in such a bad situation.
If you are not getting success in Business, then you can make other choices. Like the choice to work as a freelancer, the choice of doing Job, the choice to keep moving forward.
Choose not to give up.
6) You are wrong in everything and so am I
In this lesson, the author has told how human beings keep falling prey to misunderstandings. Many of our assumptions are wrong.
Let's see some examples:
Sometimes people fall in love. They feel that after marriage they will be together forever. And they will get the happiness of all ages. But everyone knows this is just an assumption.
After a few years of marriage, love starts decreasing. Those for whom they were ready to give their lives, now there is no special attraction in them. This is a universal fact.
Similarly, many parents feel that the happiness of their children is their happiness. but it's not like that. If someone's son eats food, then it would not be fair to say that even the parents were fed by this.
Similarly, we are also wrong about negative things. Like sometimes we worry unnecessarily. Although there is no reason for that.
OCD is an example of this. In OCD disease, a person is afraid of germs. But this fear is unfounded. Because there are already crores of bacteria in our intestine and stomach.
Every moment we take in crores of bacteria or germs even through the breath. But our immune system kills them. Due to this our immunity increases further.
Sometimes we take the introvert man as bad as well. But maybe he contributes a lot for the society.
Everyone knows about the media. The news is run in favor of the party which gives money. But illiterate people accept it as the truth.
Similarly other people sometimes make wrong opinion for us. Even at that time you should understand that he is thinking wrong. So you should not pay any attention. Or as the title of the book goes, you can say – I don't give a f*ck.
7) Failure is the way forward
Many people want to be successful in the very first attempt. Some people start a business. If you fail, you sit in silence forever.
Successful man doesn't do that. It's going slowly but it keeps going. He succeeds only after failing many times.
You must have driven a bicycle. Did you learn to drive in one go? No. Have fallen many times. There would be injury. And after failing many times, you must have learned to walk again comfortably.
It is the same with other things in life. Even in blogging, there is never success in one go. Will fail again and again. But you will learn something every time.
So friends, every failure tells us the way to success. So never be afraid to fail. Even if you are not getting success in any sport, then keep going.
Don't pay attention to making fun of others.
Keep failing a thousand times. Because after that what you will become will not be able to compete with a winner a couple of times.
A funny anecdote of the famous painter Picasso has also been told in this chapter –
Picasso had been failing years after years. No one appreciated his paintings. But they used to keep busy. Whatever the reverse-upright picture was made, they would keep on making it.
Finally one day he became very successful. Once he made a picture on a paper napkin in some talk. The picture was so beautiful that a woman offered to buy it.
Picasso asked that woman for 20 thousand dollars for this. The woman was surprised and said - what is the cost of this picture made in two minutes?
So Picasso said – The picture was made in 2 minutes. But it has taken 30 years to reach this efficiency. So see friends, failure was what made Picasso so great. So never be afraid of failure.
8) The importance of saying no
Friends, many of us are always trying to please others. Whatever they ask for. We do yes. Even if we get sad inside in the process of fulfilling their demand.
This has a great impact on our mental health. The other person also starts thinking of us as weak. And always asking for help. He does the work himself.
So learn to do no further. And don't even feel guilty for it. Yes, if someone has a genuine reason, then definitely say yes.
If your boss also wants to give you more work than others, then do not do it smartly. You didn't take all the contracts.
Similarly, many times in the relationship too, one side continues to suffer. If a girl always asks for a gift from a boy, then she should know to say no. Don't be blinded by love and become a slave forever. Similar vice-versa can also happen.
This will also let them know how true their love is. Or is it just a win-win for the other.
Children should not obey everything their parents say. (But in a positive sense.) Many parents do not indulge in everything in order to keep their children in the comfort zone. And impose your ambitions on them.
In such a situation, children should convince them. And you should be able to put forward your point. If any parent tells their children that they want to become a doctor or engineer, then this
9) And then you die
Friends, everyone wants to be rich. And living in the same race. Have you ever wondered what will happen after you achieve the success you are running after?
• Will you grow old!
• Will you be handsome!
• Will you start getting younger!
The answer to all this is no. In fact, every day we are heading towards our own death. So every day should be lived well.
It should never be said that I am so engrossed in business that I don't even have time to eat poison. Such a life is of no use.
Work too but give time to other things too. Exercise, go on walks, spend time with family. Eat and sleep on time. Party, have fun.
Work only while working. Make a schedule for everything. Then go on that.
It should not happen that even at home, the office is sitting open. Or even on Sunday, work is being done. Even if you have to do it, do so much that it does not affect your health and makes you happy.
Otherwise, this work will never end. On the contrary, you will get old soon. Will take away your happiness
Yes, it will give you a lot of wealth. But what will you do with that wealth? Do you know what will happen to the wealth of the world's richest man one day?
Really someone else will use it. Maybe his son or some trust. For which he must have worked day and night. How strange is this?
Similarly, you should also create as many ambitions which can give you happiness. Don't take away the happiness. Because one day we will all die.
From this we can also think that why do we maintain this anxiety or depression. Similarly, you have to die in a few years. So why not live happily till then?
So, friends, we can apply this philosophy of death to think positively everywhere. Newton and Einstein were great scientists. But even after making so many inventions, he left the world.
The great Alexander and the king - the Maharaja went away. The land for which they fought so many battles, shed blood, and could not carry even a handful of dust with it.
Many young people get immersed in the worry of their career. They should remember these things above. Your achievements, awards, and careers positions all have to remain here after all.
So have ambitions but don't get bogged down in worrying about achieving them. So friends, be carefree and enjoy life.
And speak about the troubles, negative people, bad situations of life – I don't give a f*ck.
5) You are always choosing
Friends, in life, we choose something of our choice every day. Be it our food, clothes, or our goals. As long as we can choose the things we like, we are happy.
The author says that we should try to reach such a situation, where we can choose the thing of our choice. And from that it is good not only for yourself but also for others.
Many times parents impose their goals on their children. Such children may be able to achieve that goal. But they will be sad for the rest of their lives.
Because this voice will keep coming from inside them that I could not do the work of my choice. You can choose good work even in such a bad situation.
If you are not getting success in Business, then you can make other choices. Like the choice to work as a freelancer, the choice of doing Job, the choice to keep moving forward.
Choose not to give up.
6) You are wrong in everything and so am I
In this lesson, the author has told how human beings keep falling prey to misunderstandings. Many of our assumptions are wrong.
Let's see some examples:
Sometimes people fall in love. They feel that after marriage they will be together forever. And they will get the happiness of all ages. But everyone knows this is just an assumption.
After a few years of marriage, love starts decreasing. Those for whom they were ready to give their lives, now there is no special attraction in them. This is a universal fact.
Similarly, many parents feel that the happiness of their children is their happiness. but it's not like that. If someone's son eats food, then it would not be fair to say that even the parents were fed by this.
Similarly, we are also wrong about negative things. Like sometimes we worry unnecessarily. Although there is no reason for that.
OCD is an example of this. In OCD disease, a person is afraid of germs. But this fear is unfounded. Because there are already crores of bacteria in our intestine and stomach.
Every moment we take in crores of bacteria or germs even through the breath. But our immune system kills them. Due to this our immunity increases further.
Sometimes we take the introvert man as bad as well. But maybe he contributes a lot for the society.
Everyone knows about the media. The news is run in favor of the party which gives money. But illiterate people accept it as the truth.
Similarly other people sometimes make wrong opinion for us. Even at that time you should understand that he is thinking wrong. So you should not pay any attention. Or as the title of the book goes, you can say – I don't give a f*ck.
7) Failure is the way forward
Many people want to be successful in the very first attempt. Some people start a business. If you fail, you sit in silence forever.
Successful man doesn't do that. It's going slowly but it keeps going. He succeeds only after failing many times.
You must have driven a bicycle. Did you learn to drive in one go? No. Have fallen many times. There would be injury. And after failing many times, you must have learned to walk again comfortably.
It is the same with other things in life. Even in blogging, there is never success in one go. Will fail again and again. But you will learn something every time.
So friends, every failure tells us the way to success. So never be afraid to fail. Even if you are not getting success in any sport, then keep going.
Don't pay attention to making fun of others.
Keep failing a thousand times. Because after that what you will become will not be able to compete with a winner a couple of times.
A funny anecdote of the famous painter Picasso has also been told in this chapter –
Picasso had been failing years after years. No one appreciated his paintings. But they used to keep busy. Whatever the reverse-upright picture was made, they would keep on making it.
Finally one day he became very successful. Once he made a picture on a paper napkin in some talk. The picture was so beautiful that a woman offered to buy it.
Picasso asked that woman for 20 thousand dollars for this. The woman was surprised and said - what is the cost of this picture made in two minutes?
So Picasso said – The picture was made in 2 minutes. But it has taken 30 years to reach this efficiency. So see friends, failure was what made Picasso so great. So never be afraid of failure.
8) The importance of saying no
Friends, many of us are always trying to please others. Whatever they ask for. We do yes. Even if we get sad inside in the process of fulfilling their demand.
This has a great impact on our mental health. The other person also starts thinking of us as weak. And always asking for help. He does the work himself.
So learn to do no further. And don't even feel guilty for it. Yes, if someone has a genuine reason, then definitely say yes.
If your boss also wants to give you more work than others, then do not do it smartly. You didn't take all the contracts.
Similarly, many times in the relationship too, one side continues to suffer. If a girl always asks for a gift from a boy, then she should know to say no. Don't be blinded by love and become a slave forever. Similar vice-versa can also happen.
This will also let them know how true their love is. Or is it just a win-win for the other.
Children should not obey everything their parents say. (But in a positive sense.) Many parents do not indulge in everything in order to keep their children in the comfort zone. And impose your ambitions on them.
In such a situation, children should convince them. And you should be able to put forward your point. If any parent tells their children that they want to become a doctor or engineer, then this
9) And then you die
Friends, everyone wants to be rich. And living in the same race. Have you ever wondered what will happen after you achieve the success you are running after?
• Will you grow old!
• Will you be handsome!
• Will you start getting younger!
The answer to all this is no. In fact, every day we are heading towards our own death. So every day should be lived well.
It should never be said that I am so engrossed in business that I don't even have time to eat poison. Such a life is of no use.
Work too but give time to other things too. Exercise, go on walks, spend time with family. Eat and sleep on time. Party, have fun.
Work only while working. Make a schedule for everything. Then go on that.
It should not happen that even at home, the office is sitting open. Or even on Sunday, work is being done. Even if you have to do it, do so much that it does not affect your health and makes you happy.
Otherwise, this work will never end. On the contrary, you will get old soon. Will take away your happiness
Yes, it will give you a lot of wealth. But what will you do with that wealth? Do you know what will happen to the wealth of the world's richest man one day?
Really someone else will use it. Maybe his son or some trust. For which he must have worked day and night. How strange is this?
Similarly, you should also create as many ambitions which can give you happiness. Don't take away the happiness. Because one day we will all die.
From this we can also think that why do we maintain this anxiety or depression. Similarly, you have to die in a few years. So why not live happily till then?
So, friends, we can apply this philosophy of death to think positively everywhere. Newton and Einstein were great scientists. But even after making so many inventions, he left the world.
The great Alexander and the king - the Maharaja went away. The land for which they fought so many battles, shed blood, and could not carry even a handful of dust with it.
Many young people get immersed in the worry of their career. They should remember these things above. Your achievements, awards, and careers positions all have to remain here after all.
So have ambitions but don't get bogged down in worrying about achieving them. So friends, be carefree and enjoy life.
And speak about the troubles, negative people, bad situations of life – I don't give a f*ck.
Take Away
This is a book that challenges the traditions of self-help by inviting the reader to say no, say no over and over again, and embrace negative thinking.
It's about being comfortable with being different and taking care of something more important than adversity.
You must give a f*ck about something.
Who is Mark Manson? Who is the Author?
Mark Manson (born March 9, 1984) is an American self-help author and blogger. As of 2022 he has authored or co-authored four books, three of which, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Everything Is Fucked: A Book About Hope, and Will, were The New York Times bestsellers.
Specification
Language: English
Publisher: Harper Collins
Genre: Health and Nutrition
Disclaimer: This material, including advice, provides general information only for educational purposes. It is in no way a substitute for a qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist or your doctor for more details. fittofitter.com does not claim responsibility for this information.
